For those of you who frequently play video games, you may already know what this article is going to be about. And if you don’t, I’m pretty sure that you will once I explain it a bit more.
You know that one game, that you really love? And you know how much you enjoy playing that one game, over and over? And yet, each time, there’s that one part that you completely forgot about, maybe because you blocked it from your memory? The part that makes you go ‘oh, geez, I forgot how much this part isn’t very good‘?
Jogging your memory now? Yep, that’s what this week’s article is going to be about! We’ll take a look at a wide variety of examples of this phenomenon that I was able to think of! Essentially the truest version of the phrase ‘nothing is perfect‘!
1) Big’s Fishing Levels ~ Sonic Adventure
Fishing minigames, by and large, are actually pretty enjoyable despite how out-of-left-field they can feel sometimes. Emphasis on ‘by and large‘, because Big’s fishing levels in Sonic Adventure are atrocious. Wonky controllers, inexplicable mechanics, and an overall system so obtuse you need either YouTube tutorials or the infinite free time of being a child to figure it out…it’s such a mess. I sometimes skip his entire campaign upon replaying this game.
2) The Gestral Beaches ~ Clair Obscur Expedition 33
Technically, these activities are optional, but I just couldn’t pass up the chance to talk about them…or maybe ‘rant‘ is a better term. And for once, I’m not going to talk about how tonally dissonant they are, and how much they clash with the game’s overall themes and emotions (oops, I just did). I’m actually more concerned with how terribly they are designed, with most of them heavily involving platforming, in a game with the most platforming of maybe any RPG I’ve ever played. Who approved of these?
3) Rampage Quests ~ Monster Hunter Rise
It makes complete sense to me when a developer wants to switch up a long-running series by introducing a new gimmick. Sometimes, though, the aforementioned ‘new gimmicks‘ just do not work at all. Rampage Quests are an unfortunate casualty of a development team’s big creative ideas far outpacing their skill in actually replicating the gimmicks in-game. These quests drag on for too long, are way too overly-complicated and overly-stimulating, and are a continuous exercise in tedium and frustration as your hunter gets ping-ponged around the area by a hundred million monsters.
4) The Twilight Town Prologue ~ Kingdom Hearts 2
Now, this extended prologue is rather beautifully written, and Kingdom Hearts 2 wouldn’t be the same game without it. It’s a quintessential part of the experience, and an enjoyable one at that…the first time around. On any sort of second playthrough, this prologue is an absolute chore filled with shallow minigames, a bazillion (thankfully skippable) cutscenes, the tedious mystery hunting part, and way too many fights against basic enemies where you just mash the attack button until the next cutscene plays. It’s a bit of a slog when the story and character work can’t carry it anymore.
5) The Class Switcheroos ~ Xenoblade Chronicles 3
In Xenoblade Chronicles 3, the bulk of the combat system revolves around classes, and it’s a really great system with almost limitless customizability and replayability. Trouble is, to get the most out of the system, the game expects you to unlock every single class with every single character. What this requires is an almost insane level of micro-managing and class changing, pausing the game every hour or two to swap all of the party’s classes around. It’s bearable on a first playthrough, and the end result of customization and freedom is super fun, but it’s also the single biggest reason why I’ve let so many years pass without playing this game again yet.
6) The Silent Realms ~ Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
On a gameplay-level, I actually think that The Silent Realms are really well-designed, and a ton of fun. It’s just that, to be honest, they kinda scare me! ‘Tension‘ is maybe a better word. Having to sneak around these spooky areas while avoiding the poison water and ghost lanterns always gets my blood pumping in a way that is kinda fun, but also a bit exhausting. And heaven help me if I accidentally make a wrong step and end up sending all of the unstoppable guardians after myself. I think these levels shave years off my life each time I play them.
7) Early-Game Material Grinding ~ Old-School Monster Hunter
Late-game Monster Hunter is where you feel like you’ve stepped out of a fairy tale and become a heroic champion of legends. It can be easy to forget how much of a slog the early-game of Monster Hunter is, especially in the series’ older entries. Running out of potions, so you need to get more honey and blue mushrooms and green herbs. Running out of ore to craft weapons, or spheres to upgrade your armor. Not having enough cooked meat to keep your stamina up. It’s exhausting, and makes it hard to justify starting new files in these games.
8) Early-Game Snipers ~ Valkyria Chronicles
Snipers are one of the most enjoyable classes in Valkyria Chronicles, with Marina being the single best character in the game. But you wouldn’t guess that from her (and her peers’) performance in the first few levels! Snipers, despite what you’d think, are objectively pretty terrible. Their accuracy is abysmal at anything further than a few meters away, which makes it almost impossible to justify using them compared to Scouts. Honestly, it’s not until the mid-game that Snipers get really good, but that’s a pretty big chunk where you either have to not use them, or deal with their unreliability.
9) Old Yharnam ~ Bloodborne
Design-wise, I actually think Old Yharnam is a pretty great level. But the fact that an absurd amount of content is entirely locked behind its completion is what drives me up a wall, making it feel like Bloodborne isn’t even open to me yet until I’ve conquered this fire-filled town. Again, it’s a very good level, but the only way to access the Hunter’s Workshop, the Source of the Dream, the Hypogean Gaol, Upper Cathedral Ward, and ANY CHALICE DUNGEON is by clearing Old Yharnam. Skip this area, and you lose out on so much, which really blows for an area that the game tries to say is ‘optional‘.
10) The Prison Break ~ Dishonored
Dishonored (and the sequel) is one of my favorite games of all time, but it’s easy to forgot how much I love it each time I boot up the game and have to play through the first level. I’m someone who likes to play through Dishonored in Low Chaos, which means killing minimal (or no) people during the game. Dishonored‘s first level makes this task unreasonably difficult for a ‘tutorial level‘ by giving you really cramped quarters to run around in, and absolutely no tools to assist you aside from just choking people out. The second level onward is a joy to play, but this first mission really sucks the joy right out of me.
11) Surviving the Cold ~ Rise of the Tomb Raider
I’m all for appreciating atmosphere and immersion in a video game, but sometimes that immersion loses its luster on a repeat playthrough. Similar to the Kingdom Hearts 2 entry a little bit earlier, Rise of the Tomb Raider has a part near the beginning where you have to survive a night in the cold. Grab tree bark to start a fire, hunt a deer for some food, forage for berries and leaves to heal a wound (however that works). It’s all solid tutorial stuff, but on a repeat playthrough, it drags on for so long that it makes me really wish there was a skip button.
12) The Battlesphere ~ Freedom Planet 2
Challenge arenas and the like are usually not my favorite part of any video game that I play, but if need be I can handle them well enough. And the challenges in the Battlesphere (barring one infuriating exception) are all quite enjoyable to play. It only takes a little over thirty minutes to beat all of them (except the post-game ones), and they aren’t too bad. The trouble is that the game’s final level, true final boss, and secret ending are locked behind completing the Battlesphere. This means that, to get the full experience of Freedom Planet 2, you have to go out of your way to engage in this ‘side mode‘ every single time. Yeesh!
13) Forsaken Fortress ~ The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Not too long ago, I talked about my gripes with stealth sections poorly implemented into games not designed to handle them. I honestly think the granddaddy of all of these tragic faux pas is found here in Wind Waker. Link getting stuck in an evil fortress, separated from his sword, and having to sneak around to escape sounds good on-paper, but it crumbles in-practice. Hiding in barrels is slow and tedious. The plethora of loading screens between rooms dramatically undercuts any tension and immersion. Fighting enemies without a sword is cumbersome and janky. And even figuring out you have to turn off the spotlights is obtuse. It’s a poorly designed area.
14) Smithing Stones ~ Elden Ring
Elden Ring (if you ask me) has a TON of issues that make me both want to and not want to replay it. But probably the single-biggest issue has to do with smithing stones, the upgrade materials needed to power up your weapon. In a normal Dark Souls game, these items are peppered throughout your mostly-linear journey, paced to help you evolve your weapon right alongside the game’s combat growing in difficulty. Elden Ring, being open world, just kinda tosses them everywhere, meaning nearly each playthrough of this game starts the exact same: racing like a headless chicken around the world to pick up random junk. It’s a mess.
15) Jet Ski Sections ~ Uncharted
The original Uncharted has an extremely warm and nostalgic place in my heart, and I find myself frequently replaying the game (it helps that it isn’t too long). But there’s two moments where you ride a jet ski, and oh goodness were this developer’s not capable enough to program a ridable water-based vehicle at this stage in their game making careers. The jet ski controls terribly, the bobbing water makes it impossible to see where you’re going (and it’s kinda nauseating, actually), and both jet ski sections are littered with rocket launcher goons waiting to insta-kill you and send you back to your last checkpoint. Yikes!
16) Unlocking Subcon Forest ~ A Hat In Time
A Hat In Time is on my list of top ten favorite games ever, but even a game on a list like that can still have moments that make me less-than-happy while playing it. The Subcon Forest area is a pretty neat level, and I like the theme of a spooky, off-kilter forest. The issue is that the level leans into theming a bit too hard, and makes it so that new levels in this world only unlock after you’ve been given a contract for them. The only way to get contracts is stumbling into a trap laid out by the ghostly Snatcher, and then you’re allowed to choose exactly ONE from a selection. Which, yes, means going into and out of this world via the pause menu, running into another trap, accepting another contract, then doing it again until you have them all. Such a strange, cumbersome design decision.
17) Gwent ~ The Witcher 3
This is a contrarian opinion that very well could see my struck down by hired goons, but I despise the Gwent minigame in The Witcher 3. I don’t find it personally offensive or anything, but my least favorite parts of playing this masterpiece of an RPG where whenever I was forced to partake in Gwent (thankfully, not too often, though I was annoyed that I came back during a non-optional part of the DLC storyline). I find Gwent to simultaneously be extremely boring, and also very aggravating. This is especially true as you start off with only a handful of cards, and unless you engage with Gwent to win some more, you’re stuck with a bad deck while all of your opponents dance in circles around you.
18) The Tower ~ Iconoclasts
Iconoclasts is one of the most underrated video games ever made, but if the reason for that turned out to be because people collectively stopped playing at The Tower, maybe I’d actually agree. It’s actually a really good level, but it’s also intensely challenging. Not because of hard platforming or enemies, but because it’s one of the most densely-packed and insidiously-sculpted mazes in any video game. Working out how to progress through this area is so tough and complex that even I can’t manage to memorize the route (and that’s saying something, as I’m notoriously great at visually recalling maps and such). Each time I play Iconoclasts, it’s like my first visit to The Tower all over again…and all the headaches that entails.
19) No Invincibility ~ Lego Star Wars
Lego games are a ton of fun, and almost always pretty stress free. However, they aren’t exactly the most balanced games either, and usually suffer from a ton of enemy spam that leads to frequent cheap deaths. Like, no one is going to try and say that Lego games are hard, but I think you’d be surprised at just how many times the game dumps you into a room with a million enemies, you inevitably die, and you have to watch as your True Jedi stud counter ticks back down because of the studs you just lost. I think it really just angers the perfectionist/completionist in me, but I always breathe a happy sigh of relief when I finally secure the Invincibility upgrade in any Lego game.
20) Replaying the Prologue ~ Fire Emblem Fates
So, if you’re familiar with Fire Emblem Fates, you might be confused why this entry is even here. After all, there’s a button right on the home menu that lets you start a new file directly at the big climactic choice moment, skipping the prologue entirely (after your first time playing it, of course).
The thing is, doing so gives you a Corrin (and friends) who are of mid-tier upgrades, with very generalized stats. This, as you might imagine, is suboptimal. For example, if you know you’re going to play Birthright, you can ignore Xander during the opening two stages of the prologue and give Corrin and the Hoshido crew all of the experience from enemies. Or, if you’re playing Conquest, let Corrin and Azura tackle all of the enemies in the latter half of the prologue instead of their Hoshido siblings. In either instance, your allies will be higher leveled and more geared-up than the generic allies you’ll receive by using the ‘Skip Prologue’ button from the main menu.
This means that, objectively, the most effective way to start a new file in Fire Emblem Fates is to do the whole prologue again, and again, and again…every time. And given that those levels are extremely basic by design? It’s definitely a bit tedious.
There’s obviously hundreds more examples, but I can’t just keep writing forever!
But hey, that’s just my opinion!
The Contrarian Corner 